A man went to visit his 90 year old grandfather in a very secluded, rural area of the state in which he lived. After spending the night, his grandfather prepared breakfast for him consisting of eggs and bacon. He noticed a film like substance on his plate and he questioned his grandfather: "Are these plates clean?"
His grandfather replied: "Those plates are as clean as cold water can get them, so go on and finish your meal."
That afternoon, while eating the hamburger his grandfather made for lunch, he noticed tiny specks around the edge of his plate, and a substance that looked like dried egg yolks ...so he asked again: "Are you sure these plates are clean?"
Without looking up from his hamburger, the grandfather says: "I told you before, those dishes are as clean as cold water can get them, now stop being so picky!"
Later that afternoon, he was on his way out to get dinner in a nearby town. As he was leaving, his grandfather's dog started to growl and would not let him pass. "Grandad," the young man called, "your dog won't let me out."
Without diverting his attention from the TV screen he had his eyes glued to, his Grandfather shouted: "COLDWATER, get out of the way."